Session Notes: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Library

Alright, so this should pretty much just be an extended version of the Alter Ego Archive. I was going to do one of those about my character from this campaign, but everything about this campaign was fantastic, and, I thought, worth sharing.

This campaign was, from its inception, a gag campaign. It was run by my friend, Jordan LaBelle, who is a masterful joke-smith. My character was named Sophia D'Artois. She was a multiclass Druid/Bard to make a professional damsel in distress, who would go on in the campaign to lead around a pack of princely "followers". She had "profession: damsel" on the character sheet and everything. The party also included a poorly trained Wizard who rolled on a random spell table whenever he tried to cast anything; a Paladin whose god sent him on inane household errands, and whose holy symbol was the plunger; and a multiclass Thief/Monk who had turned from a life of avarice to a vow of poverty, and found a peace he wanted to share with the world, by stealing and disposing of other people's possessions.

We began at a gay bar, called the Rising Rooster, where I was something of a kid sister/mascot who the patrons would periodically rescue to show off to each other. A bureaucratic mind flayer then sent us on a mission to return one of my overdue library books. We came to a restaurant in the sewers with cheap food and expensive showers, and then encountered four turtle/human hybrid creatures all named for German painters. Our wizard cast a sigil of death on a wall, and then killed them all by reversing gravity and making them fall at terminal velocity into the ceiling. This was, naturally, after they recognized my companion, Fabian the pony, and began to tremble in fear of his reputation in the planes of darkness. ("Das Fabian!" is still a common joke in our tabletop group)

From there we emerged from the sewers inside of the city, near a magical ring merchant, and obtained some cursed and some enchanted rings. One in particular was useful in that it caused explosions.

We then entered the library, and fought a dragon who was incensed at my ridiculously high late fees. I was able to seduce a follower into wearing the explosion ring and then getting himself eaten, whereupon, the dragon was slain, the day was saved, and the library was left without proper management. Good times.