Some ground rules: the actor cannot just be a bad actor, that's too easy. They need to be good actors, who do well in some roles, but for one reason or another, would just be a terrible pick for this particular role. We're also not going way off reservation with this, none of this: "Wanda Sykes as Emperor Hirohito!" nonsense. The actor needs to superficially "right" for the role, but be viscerally wrong.
Clark Kent/Superman: Will Arnett
Will Arnett is one of my personal favorite actors. He does a lot of things incredibly well. Most of those things are snarky, smarmy, character pieces. This man gives off an aura of used car salesman in most of his best roles. From Arrested Development to 30 Rock, he is a master of portraying everything Superman isn't. The upside, this would be the least suspiciously Superman-esque version of Clark Kent ever seen.
Lex Luthor: Vin Diesel
If you've seen the Justice League cartoon from 2001, you'll know that, visually, Vin Diesel works well as that version of Lex Luthor. This makes it all the more disappointing that this fantastic actor from movies like The Chronicles of Riddick and Guardians of the Galaxy would be a poor casting for the calm, deliberate mastermind that is Lex Luthor. With his acting chops, I wouldn't even predict him to do poorly, I just think his reputation for more action oriented roles would mar the audience's suspension of disbelief to accept him as the corporate king champion of what passes for humanism in the DC universe.
Jimmy Olsen: Jack Gleeson
What would a Superman misstep be without the ill-formed decision to include Jimmy Olsen, the poster child of everything comic books left behind with the decline of the comics code. Then, once you've decided to ruin your movie with the inclusion of one of DC's most hated characters, what's next but to give him a punch-able face that audiences are well-accustomed to loathing. In all seriousness, it's a testament to Gleeson's acting ability that he could become so well despised. He was supposed to be hated, and he pulled it off like a pro. He's mostly got the look of the character, and yet, there's something just a little too dark and intense in his bearing to carry off the character so wide eyed and innocent that he makes DC's "Boy Scout" look like a hardened criminal.
Lois Lane: Zooey Deschanel
It seems like any pick for Lois Lane is going to be controversial to one camp or another. Staying true to the origins of the character is to be insulting to women, and portraying a positive example of a female character brings her so far from her comic book origins as to alienate the fan base. Still, if any skilled actress is nevertheless ill-equipped to portray either a serious journalist or a female door mat, it's the living avatar of the manic pixie dream girl. Imagine a Superman story about him learning to take things less seriously and be more of a free spirit and you've got an inkling of what this casting could do to this movie.
Bizzaro: Gary Busey
Of course, if Superman's facing off against Lex Luthor, we'll need another villain in here for him to throw a solid punch at. Luthor might be an intellectual giant, whose schemes can sidetrack the man of steel right out of the fight, but there's something satisfying about seeing our hero pull back and deck a dude. For that, let's again make another poor script decision, and, in addition to Jimmy Olsen, we'll throw Bizarro into the mix. He's a less popular superman foe, with a limited vocabulary, and not much to add to the story beside his ability to take and administer a punch. For this villain, we'll go with Gary Busey. The man's outtakes alone would establish a new and interesting take on the character; as he becomes much more verbose, though no more comprehensible.
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